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17 November 2004 @ 11:48 pm
little bits of my brain  
So, as much as I love the fiction floating around fandom, and fiction generally, my big guilty pleasure is (obviously, scroll down if you need convincing) work-in-progress amnesty day. I love seeing how writers think; I read meta about shows I've never seen. I adore Author's Notes. I've read a ridiculous number of "writing memoirs"; I just like the stupid hints and tricks different writers use. I always read people's "writing soundtracks," even if I don't read their writing. I love drabbles (especially any sort of generator drabble) because they reveal so much of what the author was thinking at that moment. I like snippets; every time one of those memes goes around, I go to my happy place. So, basically, I like process.

Which is why I'm sharing with you this totally-naval-gazing-not-composed-of-actual-fiction list. Since I've stopped writing in any formal capacity but have remained in fandom, I keep jotting things down (lines, ideas, pieces of scenes) as they come up, thinking I'll use them. I never, ever will (well. maybe. possibly. probably not.), so I'm throwing them here. Make of them what you will.

West Wing, Jed and Abbey

I've always thought that they are the most interesting couple on TV, and I like that they have such an extensive history that we've never really understood. I've also always thought that I'd write a whole story about that, but obviously that isn't happening.

I. Notre Dame

Jed: I think you should go out to dinner with me, on Friday.
Abbey: And why would I do that?
JB: Cos you're going to marry me, and I thought you should get to know me first.
AB: (eyebrow raised expertly) I'm going to marry you?
JB: Yes.
AB: And what, jackass, are you going to do for me?

II. Housewife

"Women my age have children, they have young children, they waited...you know, when I was younger, when the kids were younger and couldn't do anything or go anywhere on their own and Jed was never home because he was winning the Noble Prize, I would think, well. At least when I'm fifty, I'll have my life back." -Abbey Bartlet

III. Chess

"It's good, you know, that he found her. That she plays at his level, but it kills him. It kills him to admit that." -Leo, maybe.

Harry Potter, Remus and Sirius

I don't buy the conventional fandom wisdom about Remus and Sirius- that they're sekkrit!gay!Lovers, tragically parted again and again; I think it's too easy, especially after the flashback in Book Five. In fact, I think if Sirius was sleeping with anyone, it was James, and I think that Remus, as a not-quite-human student of human nature, knew that, no matter how much the Idiot Boys tried to hide it (and, probably, tell themselves that it didn't count), making it that much more likely, in Remus' mind, for Sirius to sell James and his perfect life to the Dark Side. Ahem. Got a little off track. So I don't think Remus and Sirius are canine soul mates. But I do like the idea of these two fucked-up (Sirius more than Remus, I think) friends keeping each other level.

I. Tough Love

"Sirius can be self-indulgent," Remus said calmly, as another picture frame came hurtling through the bedroom door.

"I heard that!" Sirius yelled.

"Good," Remus yelled back, "you were meant to!"

II. In Defense

poss. to Dumbledore"You can't expect him to- he's being clawing his way through the world for his entire life, he has nothing left, the whole of England thinks he killed thirteen people, and now he's back in that bloody house-"

DC- Batman, Superman, and assorted Robins

I'm just getting into comics, so I don't really have any concrete opinions yet (and one of my biggest beefs with comics is that for every page of actual dialouge, there seems to be six pages of "BAM! POW! SHAZAAAAAM!" that don't really TELL me anything.). But I do think a lot about Batman and Superman, how thy're different and how they're the same. I've never been able to wrap my head around it any more than I did in this first outline.

I. Kid Things

Superman and Batman. Talking like they was back in the day (ed.: yeah, I don't know where the hell I was going with that intro), you know, and Bruce easily could have been that kid who cut the whiskers off cats just to see what would happen, or lit ants on fire with a magnifying glass just to see 'em smoke, and the ants thing is the sort of thing that Superman would pull with his heat vision- "until I figured out that it wasn't much fun for the ants." And the (only?) thing that stopped Bruce from doing that anymore was that his parents got shot and he watched them bleed to death in the back of an alley and that was painful as all fuck. That's when he figured out that things hurt. When he hurt. Without that he's just one crazy mofo with a magnifying glass.

* * *

And then there's Jason Todd- Reckless!Robin. I sometimes think that Bruce has a strict moral code that he adheres to without examining, and in all the wrong ways. He knows he shouldn't sleep with any of his Robins, but I don't think he understands why, so when he's trying to mount a defense against a particularly determined Boy Wonder, he says all the wrong things.

II. Rebuttal

Bruce: Think of all the things you could be.
Jason: Think of all the things we're gonna do.

* * *

And finally there's Tim. My (mostly fanon-inspired) feelings about Tim Drake are that he will obliterate himself in an effort to be good for other people. He's the perfect Robin. He's the perfect boyfriend. He's the perfect son. (thete1 explored this quite freakily in When I Have Lost My Way, a story in which Tim has decided to be a good son, and erases his memories of being Robin. Naturally, her story is much better than my summary) He's practically a Julia Roberts movie; God knows the boy doesn't know how he likes his eggs. I've always hoped that one day Tim will do something outrageous, just to see how he likes it- get a Mohawk, get a tattoo, get laid. Something. (And then, naturally, someone will say, "Tim, that isn't like you," and he will respond by saying "Maybe it is" or by throwing a lawn chair into a pool.) I want him to try on personalites- which he is clearly very good at- but for himself, just to find things out. And since I'm as susceptible to the cliche-fic as anyone, in my head he "tries out" "gender-bending bondage aficionado". This is just after, you know, the Young Republicans and the Model Train Club.

III. Revelation

Tertiary Character: yadda yadda yadda maybe you should think about showing people who you are, it won't drive them away, etc.
Tim Drake: "Yeah, except that 'who I am' is apparently a cross-dressing leather freak."

Mandy Hampton drabble

Last one! (Shut up. No snickering.) This one's an actual drabble, pairing supplied by a generator about a million years ago. Anyone else remember Mandy and how fucked she got? It's easy to forget that in those heady days of the first campaign, when the characters that stay on the show are thrilled that Bartlet is finally winning, that a good man is winning, Mandy is being shut out of what's apparently the best thing that's ever happened to any of them. Mandy does dirty work, spin work, the glossy stuff that you need if you don't have ideals. But Bartlet does! He has ideals and ideas and he doesn't need Mandy, and she gets treated like shit for that.

I. Oppo

Leo McGarry's a drunk.

Leo McGarry's a drunk, Josh is crazy, Toby Ziegler's father was in the Mob- Mandy knows things. Mandy knows things, knows what she's doing, knows she's supposed to make everyone look good.

Bartlet's starting to look good on his own. Pretty soon, Mandy knows she's going to be out of a job.

"You're a drunk," she says.

"Yeah," he replies.

"Jesus, Leo," she says. "If you're going to fire me, fire me." He shakes his head.

"But, Christ," she goes on. "If you're going to fuck me, fuck me." This time, he nods.

Thank you, Cleveland! Drive safe and hug your gramma!